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I worried about it for like two days. I was like this is gonna suck. I don’t want to talk about the Night of Hell, but I have to if I want to get better. My therapist is a Malaysian cutie with a Masters in counseling. She was very nice and easy to get along with. Today was mostly a meet and greet with a couple of explorations into the hot spots. For a youngster, she’s not too bad and her heart’s in the right place. We might be able to help each other. I need to learn to deal with this anxiety and she needs experience dealing with people who have suffered deep trauma. I think we can do it. She’s still full of sunshine. It’s kinda cute.She asked me: “You survived don’t you think that’s worth celebrating?” I replied: “Let me torture you almost everyday for a year then come back and ask that question.” She sat back in her chair and I could see the wheels turning in her head. She wasn’t scared or offended. She was considering how such an experience might change her world view. I think. I served breakfast and as usual we ate in silence. Jeff noticed I was drinking coffee. But he didn't say anything. He didn't speak at all until I got up to clear off the table. He told me then that we would be going to the lake.I had already figured that out. I wasn't fond of the idea of going with Jeff. And I assumed his friends would be there. I also assumed that he intended to humiliate me in front of all the other kids that would be there.Jeff waited until I wiped the table off. Then he pushed my bikini over to me and said, "Cut the lining out of that and let me see how it looks on you."Suddenly I wasn't quite so confident about how modest my bikini was going to be. I never considered the possibility of removing the liner. I picked it up and took it to my room, examining it as I walked to try to judge how it would look without the lining.It took me about fifteen minutes to carefully cut the liner out of the suit. Before I was finished, Barry and Tawney arrived. Tawney came back to.
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